In this piece I would like to make more clear what I see hypersexuality as, and how I’ve experienced it as that form and entity of sexuality in our greater society and culture.
As a sexual orientation hypersexuality might seem particularly difficult to nail-down, especially since it may be a component of, or a driving force for, or simply a momentary expression found in absolutely any kind of sexual behavior from internal fantasies to common and less common heterosexual contact, to engaging prostitution, to every kind of sexual variations that LGBTQAIP+ persons engage in, to sexual deviations beyond all those (zoophilia and necrophilia for instance), or in any other imaginable sexual behaviors, or any mixture of all of those sexual behaviors.
However, and interestingly different in comparison to many if not most other sexual orientations and or identities, none of those behaviors, or sets of behaviors, or types of partners in those behaviors are what defines hypersexuality.
Instead, it could be said that hypersexuality is the sexual orientation that has no necessarily fixed orientation toward any particular set of sexual behaviors, or sex of partners, or gender expressions of either themselves or their partners.
(Which holds an extraordinarily fluid and inclusive potential, but I digress.)
Ultimately, in my experience, hypersexuality is better defined by it’s active disregard of sexual boundary lines of all kinds including common conventions, less common demarcations, even variant delineations, and certainly laws. Hypersexuality is best defined by it’s dynamic intention and direct engagement of behaviors and actions that allow it to push through or around whatever limitations it finds or is being inhibited by. And by its insistence that it will not be easily denied.
In other words, hypersexuality is, in my understanding, the embracing of any sexually aimed thinking or action that is a conscious attempt to circumvent, penetrate beyond, or to break through whatever societal and/or cultural barriers and restrictions are threatening to limit that persons sexual pursuits or opportunities for sexual contact.
Hypersexuality is, for the person involved, the quest for and engagement of sex, sexual contact, or sexual expressions that they understand to be, or experience as being beyond socially acceptable (due to whatever set of social reasoning or controlling factors), and that therefore require socially trangressive behavior(s) on their part – whether openly or in secret.
As a simple example: A person who considers masturbating in a place that they know isn’t entirely safe from potential social consequences – and then does it anyway – is, for at least the span of that decision and sexual act, hypersexualized.
From this simple seeming foundation one can only imagine the incredibly myriad and deviant variations this omni-direction would give humans access to. Especially when compared to the tightly defined and channeled “normal” choices that American society morally and legally allows us.
Seen in this way, it also becomes clear that hypersexualism is more about it’s unusually dynamic interaction with normative social and sexual definitions, condemnations, and consequences than it is about the theories that make it out to be a mental “sickness” and a medical “condition.”
Hypersexuality is the empowerment of the individual sexual will to find-and-have sex, despite the social hurdles in place.
Perceived in this way, within our so often sexual-contact stifling society, it also becomes possible to see that hypersexuality may well describe far more of our general American sexual experience than may be expected.
In smaller, perhaps mainly temporary, and mostly less noticeable ways, this edge of sexual behavior and experience may include nearly all of us.
For some of us, it can be a daily and often multiple times per day, with multiple different partners per day kind of pursuit.
But more importantly, what I especially appreciate now, is that this core-experience of hypersexuality – the (perceived) necessity and engagement of transgressive sexual behavior – whether temporary or obsessive – is actually an unexpected and surprisingly vast common-ground of our greater social sexual experience.
Which is an understanding I ardently cherish, in large part because I believe that great value is often found and revealed from within common-ground.
Such (at least in part) is the mission of my book.
In the novel Hypersexual I devote a great deal of energy and focus toward exploring numerous different and often surprising angles of exactly how and where hypersexuality, and this understanding of a sexual common-ground, holds the potential to sprout substantially socially valuable and even sexually protective evolution’s. Among them: Much better education for our youth based on more fully acknowledging the vast reaches of human sexuality and the serious powers it holds within our individual personalities and social congress; and new laws based on freely facilitating sexual contact options, which would not only have a massive positive effect on individual sex lives and society at large, but would also substantially reduce sex-seeking related crimes.